My Friends, The Great Experiment...

...no, not transwarp drive, we're still working on that one. For this you start with 1/2 " plywood, some 2x4's, 4x4's and 1x6's, a few deck screws, a few adult beverages and next thing you know you have a 12'x5' table...

...then, add some foam panels for padding and...I think a few lights...

...a little snow, some ceramic buildings you've had stored for about 10 years, some Lionel Trains, a little magic, and you have a Christmas Wonderland for the kids and childrens of all ages...

I wasn't one of those kids growing up who fantasized about a massive train layout...trains were a bit before my time. I was more of a slot car guy (still am but more on that later).

But, there seems to be something eternal that links toy trains and Christmas. I just couldn't resist building this, low to the ground and all, so the little kids could enjoy it as much as the big kids. Let me assure you, from the look of wonder in the tiny eyes that have come to see so far I think we hit it.

There's been more than a few nights the last month or so since I finished this that I've gone down after dark, turned off the overhead lights, fired everything up and just sat. And watched. For hours on end. A couple of Saturdays ago my G.S. came over and we went down and just watched for an hour or so without saying a word...no need to. No need to talk, it's just enough to share the moment.

I built in some Easter Eggs...like George at Martini's Bar; Yoda at the head of the Trolley Line; Lightning McQueen - Sheriff - Doc Hudson - Dale Jr. - Mark Martin; the Baily Boarding House & the Building and Loan; even the Now Entering Bedford Falls sign, the High School and the Bridge.

Mainly this is a place to stop, leave this current darkness at the door, and remember the magic of Christmas and the gift of Love...the gift of Grace...we were all given so long ago that is still available to any who desire it.

I've already told everyone I know in the area, now comes your invite: if you live in or will be coming to the Dallas area anytime (this isn't a seasonal display, it's permanent) and would like to come by and see this (or the monster slot car track coming soon!) just email me and let me know. All of you are welcome.

Merry Christmas!

Best Time Of Year

October is the perfect month. You can contemplate the year to date and pause just long enough to soak in the world around you before the Holidays try to run you over. I'm determined for 2009 to not get swept away in the flood of commercialism and family time robbing 'things'-that-have-to-be-done-or-the-world-will-end. I'm at the start of a project close to my heart intended to give our family an excuse to come together this season and all year. This will be the culmination of a life long dream. I will post some in-progress pics in the coming days.

In the meantime, here's to a beautiful 'Moon Of The Changing Seasons'...if you need me you know where to find me.

"Don't Say She Lost"

Blatantly borrowing this post title from Eldon. He posted sad news last Wednesday night. While he lost a wife and his children lost a Mother I totally agree with him...she did NOT loose. I'll go one more and say she is the winner. She beat cancer at it's own game and is now free. Please be in prayer for them as they have to start a life without their loved one. If you get a chance check out his posts the last few weeks. They are very touching, very honest (brutally so sometimes) and chronicle the closing days of their family's battle against this bastard of a disease.

I've lost a mother, grand father, an aunt to cancer. I have an Uncle who, although having beaten brain cancer, is now fighting the battle scars of loss of mobility. Even though Sandee's blog isn't updated regularly any more my wife got a FB update Monday and Sandee is still fighting with everything she's got. I doubt there is any one of you who has not been touched in some way by cancer.

I hate what this disease does. It not only tries to steal the life of it's victim but it tries to suck the joy, hope and love out of everyone close to them. I say dig in...don't give an inch. Ironic thing about cancer is it usually does the opposite...draws people together and gives them a rallying point and something to draw strength from.

[I've always tried to keep this blog at least a PG but...]
On October 27, 2007 Lori won her battle. They've changed her profile pic but it used to be the same picture of her, head shaved, looking defiantly at the camera, except it showed her flipping the double bird with the following unedited on her shirt: "F*** CANCER"

Can't say it any plainer than that.

Been really busy lately

I've missed posting the last few weeks. Been really busy here with work (a VERY good thing) and some home & family projects (another VERY good thing). Lots of news to catch up on and share...some of it sad. Be tackling all that shortly.

Remembering Love

Happy Thanksgiving!

Last night after I got home from work I went for a walk through the neighborhood. What a treat. It seemed that at every other house or so the curtains were drawn back and the lights were on, tables were being set as wives and daughters scurried around to get everything just right. It wasn't cold but just barely cool enough to be an excuse for a fire. There was a haze of smoke hanging in the air and that unmistakable scent that says all is right with the world. As I arrived back home about 8:30, at the house across the street, the whole family was sitting down at the big dining room table for a Thanksgiving Eve meal.

This morning I went for a bike ride through the same neighborhood. There were smells of every delicious Thanksgiving dish you can imagine cooking...cars everywhere...people hanging out in yards...kids ruining around playing.

Being home alone this year, all this made me aware of what I'm the most thankful for this year:

Love

You would think that being alone on a holiday would make someone melancholy. It would be easy to slip into but when I glimpse the lives of those around me today I'm reminded of all my Thanksgivings. Love is a powerful thing. It transcends miles, time, death...and loneliness.

I remember how much love mom put into making things just right, the hours she spent & the sleep she lost just to make the day special.

How dad would just sit, doing nothing in particular except let us talk his ear off and ask every dumb question that came to mind...since he worked so much it was a treat to have him home during the day.

How much love my Beautiful wife put into making things just right...how I would just sit, doing nothing in particular...the kids running around laughing and playing...you get the idea.

How so many of my friends have made sure that I'm not really alone today.

Only love can fill the void of being alone today and I'm left with a warmth I can't describe. A very dear friend told me once that when this life was over and we looked back that the only two things that would matter were who we loved and who loved us...he's right. Think about it.

To ya'll who stop by from time to time, I thank you for sharing this little slice of my world and letting me share that little slice of yours. Just know that I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving and remember the love of those who are gone, those who are here and those who are yet to come.

The Moon of the Falling Leaves

...to all who share a birthday during the Moon of the Falling Leaves: may the bear's voice be quiet and you have a gentle season.

'Tis the season...

Well, here we are again. Ready to enter the 'stew' called the Holiday Season that starts today? Lots has happened in the last year in our little slice of the world, as I'm sure it has in yours. Let's see:

My family's had a wedding, a birth (with one more on the way in January), some minor and not-so-minor illnesses, pending surgery for one of ours, and, thankfully, we still have everyone with us that we did this time last year. We have been blessed...

Allison and Brian just celebrated their one-year anniversary on 10-20-08...

but she NEVER POSTS ANYMORE!...Ahh-but I remember how wonderful those early years were while building a life together...

Knot was outed by his Dentite and had to re-boot his site...

Radhole is now RadRuss so that they don't consider him a porn site anymore...

Eldon's wife isn't doing too great-and-
According to the latest update Sandy is having a tough fight too-
Please remember them in your prayers...

This time last year LFOAB and family had just relocated from New York to Minneapolis and were settling in for a mid-west winter but this past Saturday they just finished a move to Portland Oregon. Coast to coast in a year...talk about culture shock...

It was through LFOAB this past year that I met Brother Yam and have been enjoying reading him ever since...

Jeremy had a change of career this past year and, despite his promises to the contrary, he still makes me think...

This past year Laura and K welcomed their first little one...

On a more worldly note next Tuesday is a pretty important day in the life of our country. Since I early voted I'll spare you my arguments for or against anyone. Just suffice it to say that I truly don't see government as the answer to any of our problems...the cause of our problems is more like it. And there are plenty on BOTH SIDES so I'm not interested in any party-line rhetoric. We have to take some responsibility for the government screwing things up since we put the people there and get rid of the guilty. But it doesn't seem to me that either Republican or Democrat has the 'nads or smarts to fix things so it's not an easy answer.

So, lets arm ourselves and stand ready...

Watch out for trouble and keep our heads down...

Stay focused...

and maybe the jolly man in the Red and White suit will have something nice for us come Christmas time...

...or not. Either way I've had a blast this past year and I'm looking forward to to making it through the next one with a little help from my friends...

Merry ThanksGivOWeen everyone!!!

Nothing but babies as far as the eye can see...

Is it my imagination or does it seem like there's a baby-boom going on these days?

Our family has seen a birth in June '07. October '07, June '07 is expecting again in January '08,

Four girls at church gave birth from Summer '07 through Summer '08, one for the 2nd time in 2 years.

Laura gave birth in December '07.

Allie's been married almost a year now...is she next?

I jokingly told my Beautiful Wife the other day that all this made me want to try for another. After she gave me that 'are-you-out-of-your-#@$%&$-mind' look she said

"Two things:
1. no way.
2. hell no, and
3. HELL no."

Guess I'll be sleeping with the dog for a while.

What about in your neck of the woods? Something in the water or is it just me?

Down and Back

Edge is dead.

Long live Celtic Knot

I Took The Challenge

Last week Edge issued a challenge and I took him up on it.

Seven days of Commando.

My report: not bad. On the plus side there's less time getting dressed (one less thing to worry about), less laundry. On the downside I didn't really like working out commando...too many thing left up in the air (except bike riding which is done commando anyway when you wear cycling shorts)




Oh...by the way, Jeff, I even went commando to church. I don't have the same worry you do, not being on the stage.

GET READY...

Tomorrow, November 1st, is one of the best days of the year!

That's the day all the stores put their Halloween Candy on sale for half price or better. My Beautiful Wife is partial to Candy Corn. I like the Candy Pumpkins myself...ever gorged on sugar to the point of feeling intoxicated? Believe me, it can happen.

Like I said last year, tomorrow starts the sprint to New Year's and all the magic in between. We've been blessed this year with new family members, new friends, old friends and renewed strength and health. Here's hoping that the next 9 weeks are really special for all of you and your families.

In the meantime, if you need me I'll be here...

...if only in my dreams...

A Distant Shore

Russ is leaving on a jet plane tomorrow to enjoy his spoils of victory in Florida. Hope they have a wonderful time and hope he makes it to the Cape!

I'm just disappointed we won't get a chance to harass, embarrass & show appreciation together at Brian and Allie's wedding. Yes, I'm getting to go to 'The' wedding. Can't wait to meet Allie and her bunch. My Beautiful Wife and I are thrilled that she and Brian found each other. My message to all the single guys out there who missed out: that's what you get for waiting. All I can say is I'd better get a dance with the bride! (What? You've never seen a Beast dance before?)

I will be staying with family in Harrisburg so it should be a good trip all around. Leaving insanely early tomorrow. I have been promised a 'time to remember' by family Saturday night after I get back from the wedding...I will try to report from the road (if everything stays PG) and will have a full report with some pics upon return.

...if only I had a life size cut out of Russ...then he could go with me.

Ride My See-Saw

"Ride, ride my see-saw
Take this place
On this trip
Just for me

Ride, take a free ride
Take my place
Have my seat
It's for free"

The last couple of months has been a little out of the ordinary for us. While our little world has been pretty stable since my wake up call in early March things for friends and loved ones have been a roller coaster of highs, lows, and not-sure's.

• In the spring of 2006 our son-in-law filmed a movie that aired on ABC this past Sunday: "Ruffian". He played Ruffian's jockey, Jacinto Vasquez. I realize I'm prejudiced but I thought he was fantastic. From some of the reviews I've seen I wasn't alone. He is a jockey and our daughter is an exercise rider at Penn National race track just outside of Hershey, PA. Congratulations Vladdie!!
• A very dear friend lost her job of 6 years unexpectedly the other day. The reason was of her own making. She had been warned by me and several others (including her husband) for months that she needed to be careful how she acted and conducted herself on the job. When everything went down I was hit with some of the shrapnel of the explosion...I was in a position to have knowledge the day before but because of the responsibilities of that position I was bound by confidentiality and couldn't say anything. I had to let the normal chain of command work. She thought I should have warned her ahead of time. I disagreed and still do. I felt that by counseling her over the last several months and very plainly explaining the "if/then" possibilities that I had done all I could as a friend to try to help. Comes a point that a person has to stand on their own 2 feet and face the consequences of their actions alone for better or worse. That time came for her a couple of weeks ago and nothing I or anyone else could do or say was going to change the results of her actions. I may never see our friendship restored but it won't change the fact that I love her more than she can know.
• Re-established contact with my brother's sons after not knowing where they were the last 7 years. This was an unexpected pleasure. On the flip side it brought back some painful memories about my brother's death that I had managed to bury. Also there is some unfinished business regarding Mom's estate. I hope their expectations are realistic and they aren't looking to hit the lottery.
• Late yesterday our oldest son carried his wife to the hospital. They are expecting their first child in early August but her sack tore. They will probably deliver the baby in the next day or two. Mother and child are fine and the baby is very close to 4 lbs. so if she delivers they are confident everything will be fine.

A mixed bag of events, some still in flux. Our lives seem pretty calm and unimportant right now despite everything that's going on. This is one of those times we have to trust God because we sure can't do anything on our own. I will report back when I know more.

Two Less Lonely People In The World

I received wonderful news in my tiny blog-world yesterday:

Allison is engaged to be married! My Beautiful Wife and I are absolutely thrilled for her and her future husband. I'm sure he knows how lucky he is to find someone as wonderful as Allison. I wish for them a long life together with much joy. Both of you will be in our prayers!

BTW: That sound you hear in the background is the wailing and crying from all the guys with broken hearts who were left behind...

"I'm tryin' to think but nuthin happens..."

Tag, I'm it. Laura was nominated for the Thinking Blogger Award by two of her readers. She asked us here to name 5 blogs that make us think. This originated from the Thinking Blogger site. I'll be glad to do that and to tell WHY they make me think. I have all of these on an RSS feed on my Yahoo home page and read them daily.

1. I found Laura through her comments on Russ's and Jeremy's blogs. I noticed her thoughts paralleled mine so I checked her out and found a very talented young woman who had her feet firmly planted on the ground, loves here husband, her job, and her friends. Kinda' hard not to love her too. She has a way of taking daily life and making it magical. I can't wait to get the latest update on the happenings in her world, whether it's 'what's for dinner', something about programing, travel, or setting the record straight on the stuff that goes on in our crazy world.
   
   
2. What can I say about Allison. She has the most unbelievable outlook on life. Sometimes I 'be weep my outcast state' yet, I see someone here who probably had more reason than all of us put together to complain and she just keeps on going, taking life by the horns and not putting up with it's crap. No one can make a cup of coffee or tea any more exciting than she can. I admire her faith and the love her family has for each other.
   


3. Dave over at Better Living Though Blogging and I see eye to eye on every issue...except one: the issue of faith. Dave is an atheist. In my day to day physical world I, like most people, tend to associate with people who think and believe the same way I do. However, in the virtual world sometimes we find out after getting to know someone through their work that there are some differences. I began reading Dave just before he moved from San Antonio (near my neck of the woods) to--pardon the term--God's country. Montana. I am a sucker for anything Montana. Dave swept me away with his enthusiasm as he gushed about his beautiful world. But I have learned that in addition to Montana Dave loves his family and cares deeply for his friends and the community he lives in. He has made me realize what a shame it is to stay in your own little huddle. Heck, Jesus even told us we were supposed to go to the ends of the earth, be salt and light and not JUST hang with those like us.
   


4. I started reading Jeremy after I read a comment he left on Alison's site. Something about Google maps and area 51. I knew then that here was a blog I needed to check out. When I saw that he lived in Tucson, where my closest living relatives are, and that he worked in a cubicle jungle like I had-the one that was a live saving career change for me-I was hooked. Where he comes up with the vast storehouse of information he posts I'll never know. He knows more about our fleet of Navy Super Carriers than anyone. Also, in Jeremy I found one who loathes the cowboys as much as I do, although for different reasons. I can always count on Jeremy to present a WIDE range of subjects...never a dull moment. I often find myself saying 'gee, I didn't know that' or 'I never looked at it like that before' after finishing one of his posts. His series on Cubicle Culture is priceless. Besides, I like his color scheme.
   


5. Russ is a good friend of Allison. They went to college together. He also has the best initials I've ever seen: R.A.D. His Essays and his Filth McCreery series are must reads. I'm just waiting. Someday soon the 'powers that be' who tell us what's funny in print and pictures (NOT) are going to discover Russ. Then you will be able to buy his books and watch his movies and TV shows. His stuff is better than most of the garbage we're forced to watch now. When that day comes I'll proudly say 'I know that guy! I've been reading him for years!'. Besides, Russ lives in Denver. That's next to the mountains and almost to Montana so it has to be good. Another thing I admire about Russ is his courage. He's not afraid to take on any subject or to speak what's on his mind. At the same time he's compassionate and understanding.

Even though I've never met any of them face to face I consider Laura, Allison, Dave, Jeremy and Russ among my dearest friends. They have enriched my life and taught me many things I would otherwise be ignorant to. I hope they continue to share of themselves...after all, that's the most wonderful gift you can give!

BY THE WAY: The 5 of you consider yourselves nominated and tagged...except Laura of course.

For Laura

Laura said she liked seeing black cats so, here ya go

Maximus: my friend, buddy and near-constant companion when I'm home

Max is a most unique and very intelligent guy. We have 3 boys and 2 girls: Max, his brother Taz Man, his cousin Wild Man (guess how they got their names), Red-a feisty little red tiger who don't' take crap off no one and her scardy-cat sister Jazmin, an adorable little calico who's scared of her own shadow.

While the other 4 live up to their names somewhat Max is the thinker of the bunch. One day when they were all still kittens I was in the kitchen. I heard what sounded like water somewhere. I thought it sounded like someone going to the bathroom but I was home alone. I went to the small bath off the kitchen and there was Max squatting on the seat doing his business in the toilet. He gave me a 'Dude, do you mind?!?' look so I left him alone. Who knew all those times when he watched he was taking notes. If only the dog was that easy to house break...

One Year

Today begins the 2nd year of my BLOG. It was a year ago yesterday I made my first post. It generically described a stressful situation and tough decision I was responsible for.

Looking back at the consequences I can report that without a doubt it was the best thing for all involved. Lots of prayer went into that one.

As with the passage of any 12-month span allot has happened: happy, sad, life, death. The next will no doubt bring more of the same.

Thanks to everyone whose read my ramblings and thanks to all of you that have led by example on your blogs and taught me. Especially Laura, Allison, Jeremy, Dave and Russ If you haven't, check them out on the links to the right.

Looking forward to another wonderful year!

In Memory

Kyle Williams

12-28-60
to
2-12-07

See you on the other side my friend...keep a seat warm for me. Thanks for everything.

For Jeremy

In response to your post today:

You asked a question. I can answer an emphatic NO! It's not wrong for you to feel this way. It's not wrong to feel bad or low. Remember Elijah. Even after having a tremendous victory on Mt. Carmel he got so depressed after Jezebel's threat that he wanted to die. Job, too. He didn't know why things happened the way they did but, like you, he clung to his faith. Sometimes it's a tremendous accomplishment just to survive a year and put it behind you.

I look back over that last several years at where I've been and where events have led me to now and I can see a little clearer. I don't know if these things happen just so we can learn a lesson, for us to gain experience for a larger mission down the road, to steer us away from or onto certain paths, or all of these and more. I just know you are RIGHT to recognise it, RIGHT to talk about it and analyze it, and RIGHT to feel the way you do.

And don't feel bad about being private with your feelings. I've found that often your safer to keep your struggles and hurts between you & God and not allow someone, even well meaning, to kick you in the gut while your down. Guard your heart. No one has walked in your shoes this last year. No one knows what you've had to endure and go through. I have every confidence you will find the path and that the future will be kind to you.


Sleep well, brother, Sleep well.

For Allison

Today is the eighth aniversary of Allison's accident. It breaks my heart when tragedies like this happen, even though I know there's nothing I can do about it. Found this from Tennyson that pretty well sums it up:

Oh yet we trust that somehow good
Will be the final goal of ill,
To pangs of nature, sins of will,
Defects of doubt, and taints of blood;
That nothing walks with aimless feet;
That not one life shall be destroy'd,
Or cast as rubbish to the void,
When God hath made the pile complete;
Behold, we know not anything;
I can but trust that good shall fall
At last-far off-at last, to all
And every winter change to spring.
So runs my dream: but what am I?
An infant crying in the night:
An infant crying for the light:
And with no language but a cry.

Sleep well, my dearest Allison. Sleep well.