Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Even nature itslef is hearlading the Messianic Election

The photo above is of a North American Bear. Since the Immaculate Inauguration he has been patiently waiting for his share. He is happy now that he doesn't have to worry about anything and that all his needs will be taken care of by the Government.


Monday, January 12, 2009

The Moose Hunt

In honor of the hunting season just ended and all the hunters out there...

Two Aggie hunters, Boudreaux and Thibodaux, got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.

They managed to bag six.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

Boudreaux and Thibodaux objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Boudreaux and Thibodaux survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Boudreaux asked Thibodaux, "Any idea where we are?"

Thibodaux replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."


Texas Judge Gives 7 Year Old Right To Decide Custody

Dallas , TX , December 31, 2008

A seven year old boy was at the center of a county courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the dallas cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

[couldn't resist this one I received from my Beautiful Wife]


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Tom Landry is looking down grinning...

In honor of his two favorite teams winning...this one's for Jeremy:

The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 dallas cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The dallas cowboys.

Q. What do the dallas cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep a dallas cowboy out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. What do you call a dallas cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief.

Q. What's the difference between the dallas cowboys and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many dallas cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody remembers and we will never find out.

Q. What do the cowboys and a possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q. What are some true Cowboy fans calling the new Jerry By-God Jones stadium?
A. The Abomination.