"I'm from the Government...I'm here to help you"

[This joke reminds me of the ultimate oxymoron I saw on a sign one day at the city water department: "City of Irving Department of Customer Service"]

A Department of Water representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation.'

The old farmer said, 'OK , but don't go in that field over there.'

The Water representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH, no questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Water Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the Water Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out.....

'Your card! Your card! Show him your card!'