HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2032

• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia.
• Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
• Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
• Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
• France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
• Castro finally dies at age 106; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
• George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
• Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
• 25-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
• Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
• Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
• Man found who actually knows how to put the lid down.
• Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
• Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
• Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
• New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
• Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
• IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
• Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
  
  Now, my question to you: How much of this is just a joke and how much will come to pass?