Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Who let the lawyers out...

Being a former Baylor student I, along with my counterparts at Texas Tech and The University of Texas, am a big fan of Aggie Jokes. My Beautiful Wife sent me this list of actual label instructions on consumer goods. I couldn't help but think that these were either written by or for Aggies:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --"Do not turn upside down."

On a box of Swingline staples --"Caution: Staples have sharp points"

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts --"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(And the best for last)
On a Swedish Chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

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