Promises of Someday

How do you handle it when you can't pursue the #1 purpose in your life...when you've finally been liberated because you discovered this awesome truth just to find out you can't do anything about it?

Let me explain:
I've known for years that I'm not here just to work and make money. The main purpose for my life is to someday go to the part of the world I've been called to and share with others the hope I've found. The very-close 2nd purpose is the welfare of my family. Third is my job. So far 2 has prevented #1 from happening. As long as 2 is unable or unwilling to pursue #1 with me I have to see 2 through to the end even if it means #1 never gets done. A little backwards I know but I committed to the 2nd purpose long before feeling the call to #1...and the caller understands that. Until I am free of purpose 2, or 2 feels the call also, I will serve where I've been planted. I won't force my will on others. The job, #3, isn't a problem. I have it on good authority that as long as I do my best to be faithful to 1 & 2 that 3 will work out. It has so far splendidly and I still look forward to work every day.

In the meantime the desire to follow #1 consumes me "like a burning flame runnng through my veins"...it consumes me. Every day, day in and day out since July of 1999 the flame has gotten higher and hotter, no ebb, no flow, no wavering, no doubts...EVERY day. This has proved to me that I didn't hear the call wrong. If I had heard wrong the flame would have died by now, 7 years later. This kind of flame burns forever.

So every day I do my bit here for King and family...and burn...