Sphincters Among Us-OR-My Message To You

Last Tuesday some sphincters broke into our house and stole some things while we were at work. How do I know you were sphincters?

First-we were working paying taxes so you could be not working, probably taking resources that we paid for and stealing our 'stuff'.

Second- you took a dump in our toilet, wiped your sphincter, then threw the paper in the waste basket (what group does that do 'ya think??).

Here's what I want to say to you: you took some 'stuff' but nothing that can't be replaced. Some of what you took will be of no value to you but means a great deal to us. Some might be of great value to you if you are smart enough to take advantage of it, but I doubt you are, considering what you left behind. By the way, I think you are about the stupidest sphincter I have seen lately because you DID leave the most valuable stuff behind. Besides, what idiot leaves his designer sunglasses behind with a perfect print on it in addition to the afore mentioned DNA evidence?

Care to come back? I will be waiting for you with my two Friends: Mr. Beretta 9 and Mr. Beretta 45...just come on, we are expecting you.