Be Sure To Get Your Stories Straight...

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party.

We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird so my wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night so she explains to the taxi driver that I am just going up stairs to say good-bye to my mother and will be out soon.

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away.

"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

[Having several cats I can relate to this]