Thursday, February 26, 2009

Be Sure To Get Your Stories Straight...

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party.

We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird so my wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night so she explains to the taxi driver that I am just going up stairs to say good-bye to my mother and will be out soon.

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away.

"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

[Having several cats I can relate to this]

Labels:

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

[..received from my Beautiful Wife so I have permission to share]
  1. Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's happy to see you.
  2. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
  3. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
  4. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
  5. A dog's parents never visit.
  6. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  7. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
  8. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
  9. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
  10. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
  11. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
  12. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  13. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
  14. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
  15. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Labels:

Sunday, February 22, 2009

All I will say is this...

Mickey Rourke and Brad Pitt were HOSED!

Sean Penn is a tool.

Labels:

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Rush To Wait



I read this today and had to share it. It's by Thomas Sowell. I have seldom heard a more level headed or articulate individual. I would vote for this man in a heartbeat were he to run for President.

The big story last week was the incredible Congressional rush to pass a bill that was more than a thousand pages long in just two days-- after which it sat on the President's desk for three days while the Obamas were away on a holiday.

There is the same complete inconsistency in the bill itself. Despite the urgency in President Obama's rhetoric, as well as in Congress' haste in passing a bill which few-- if any-- members had time to read, much less consider, most of the actual spending will take place next year, at the earliest.

Not even the most Alice-in-Wonderland actions will arouse the suspicions of those who have what William James once called "the will to believe."

Nowhere was that will to believe greater than in the election of Barack Obama to be President of the United States, not on the basis of any actual accomplishment, but as the repository of hopes and symbolism. His supporters among the voters and in the media are not going to stop believing now.

It will take a lot more than blatant inconsistency for the faithful to lose faith. It may take catastrophe-- and there may well be catastrophe.

For some, even catastrophe under Obama can be blamed on George Bush. After all, Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected to an unprecedented third term in 1940, after two terms in which the unemployment rate never fell below 10 percent and was above 20 percent for 21 consecutive months.

FDR also inspired the will to believe-- and he also had Herbert Hoover on whom to blame all the country's troubles.

It may seem strange, to those who never lived through those times, that someone could be President of the United States for eight straight years and nevertheless escape responsibility for mass unemployment by blaming his long-departed predecessor. But we may yet see a re-run of that scenario in our own time.

Nothing in the amateurish way the current administration has begun suggests that they have mastered even the mechanics of governing, much less the complexities of the huge national problems looming ahead, at home and abroad.

The multiple Cabinet nominees withdrawing before their nomination can come to a vote in the Senate are just one example of this amateurism.

Another example was the Secretary of the Treasury holding a much heralded unveiling of his recovery plan, only to publicly embarrass himself and the administration when his speech made painfully clear that there is no plan, but only pious hopes. The plunge in the stock market after his speech suggests how much confidence he inspired.

There is far more to fear from this administration than its amateurism in governing. The urgency with which it has rushed through a monumental spending bill, whose actual spending will not be completed even after 2010, ought to set off alarm bells among those who are not in thrall to the euphoria of Obama's presidency.

The urgency was real, even if the reason given was phony. President Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, let slip a valuable clue when he said that a crisis should not go to waste, that a crisis is an opportunity to do things that you could not do otherwise.

Think about the utter cynicism of that. During a crisis, a panicked public will let you get away with things you couldn't get away with otherwise.

A corollary of that is that you had better act quickly while the crisis is at hand, without Congressional hearings or public debates about what you are doing. Above all, you must act before the economy begins to recover on its own.

The party line is that the market has failed so disastrously that only the government can save us. It is proclaimed in Washington and echoed in the media.

The last thing the administration can risk is delay that could allow the market to begin recovering on its own. That would undermine, if not destroy, a golden opportunity to restructure the American economy in ways that would allow politicians to micro-manage other sectors of the economy the way they have micro-managed the housing market into disaster.


Thomas Sowell





Labels:

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Dare You...

...to watch this and not be smiling at the end...

video

Labels:

Monday, February 09, 2009

Can You Say...

...Dyslexic?


...but for the grcae of Dog (and a good spellchecker) three go I.

Labels:

Friday, February 06, 2009

Change Is Good...

video

Labels:

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Christmas Angel Update

Baby Mia, born 12-20 with a mild case of Ichthyosis, came home after about 3 weeks. She is doing very well.



The only evidence is some swelling in the hands and feet. Mom, Dad and big brother Marshall are all proud to have her home. Here's a more recent pic of Marshall:


Sorry, gotta' say it, I just think our family makes pretty babies.

More good news: Dad has made contact with his oldest daughter after 9 years of not being able to find her. They had a very nice hour long talk the other night and exchanged numbers/emails/facebooks. Dad's just having a hard time believing he has a 14-year-old "young lady". He-he-he. Just hang on, Dad, it gets worse!

Labels:

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Funny how we change as we grow older...

[or do we]
This was my typical playtime when I was a kid. Energetic and creative. Above all I insisted on realism...



At school I was a model student showing a vivid, healthy imagination and trying my best to make Mom proud...



Today I am a responsible, forward thinking, mature husband and father, not willing to be Pigeon-holed by 'The Man'. Always willing to blaze the path, damn the torpedoes...

...my wife never lets me have any fun...

Have a nice day and don't ever, EVER be a slave to routine!

Labels: